thegreatbeyond

Post the funnies, once a day. Only Pumbo post here.

Ahem. Well, yeah. This is going to be my little place for funny stuff, of which I have litterally hundreds. At a rate of once a day, this should last for....a very long time. But anyway, lets get started. The first group of funnies are true Test Papers and Essays.

These are from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school, and college students around the world. It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades.

"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."

"The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."

"When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"

"For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead."

"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops."

"For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it."

"Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."

"Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."

"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."

"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."

"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."