thegreatbeyond

Not exactly dumb, but still amusing:

From England: A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for 40 Pounds and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of 40 Pounds. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture ... of handcuffs. The motorist promptly sent the money for the fine.

...and so is this one:

San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Albany, New York - Scott Bernstein, who called the Colonie New York Police Department 6 times hoping to find a prostitute, not believing, apparently, the female dispatcher who kept telling him he was reaching the police department and who kept hanging up on him. On the sixth call the police had had enough and arranged to meet him at a hotel. He then only had one more phone call he could make, and it wasn't for a prostitute.

LOS ANGELES, CA - A woman got burned during an attempt to self exterminate bugs in her home. The woman, whose identity was not beed released, activated 30 fogger-style "bug bombs" in her home, including one in the kitchen area. An ignition source triggered an explosion that authorities say burned the woman,
shattered the windows and lifted the roof three inches. According to fire spokesman Jim Wells, no more than three or four foggers should have been used and the blast caused about $30,000 damage to the 800-square-foot home.

Funny in a dark kinda way...:

In Guthrie, Okla., in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede with a shot from his .22-caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock near the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head, fracturing his skull.

Now this is just plain idiotic:

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in February in Selbyville, Del., as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

And so is this:

In February, according to police in Windsor, Ont., Daniel Kolta, 27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles.

...and this too:

Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, N. J., in September, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, by a quarter-stick of dynamite that blew up in their car. While driving around at 2 a.m., the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but they apparently failed to notice that the window was closed.

In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran," according to his wife, accidentally jogged off a 200-foot-high cliff on his daily run.

Hey--at least he got the cobwebs!

Elyria, OH - Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane torch and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his house.

Well then, lets get this show on the road. I think I'll change topics since the last one is about done anyway. The new topic will be "Actual Ads." All of these are (duh) actual ads of al sorts. Funny stuff. So...yeah. Enjoy!

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.