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Pez-Man Pez-Man
Joined: 18 May 2002 Posts: 3443
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Posted: Thu May 30, 2002 10:27 pm�� �Post subject: Pumbo's Daily Funnies |
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Post the funnies, once a day. Only Pumbo post here. |
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Pumbo Pez-Eater
Joined: 23 May 2002 Posts: 176 Location: You don't want to know...
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Posted: Thu May 30, 2002 10:36 pm�� �Post subject: Ahem. |
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Ahem. Well, yeah. This is going to be my little place for funny stuff, of which I have litterally hundreds. At a rate of once a day, this should last for....a very long time. But anyway, lets get started. The first group of funnies are true Test Papers and Essays. _________________ "Real friends don't let friends play Xbox." A proud owner of a PS2 |
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Pumbo Pez-Eater
Joined: 23 May 2002 Posts: 176 Location: You don't want to know...
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Posted: Thu May 30, 2002 10:37 pm�� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 1 |
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These are from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school, and college students around the world. It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades.
"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water." _________________ "Real friends don't let friends play Xbox." A proud owner of a PS2 |
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Pumbo Pez-Eater
Joined: 23 May 2002 Posts: 176 Location: You don't want to know...
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Posted: Fri May 31, 2002 2:29 pm�� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 2 |
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"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas." _________________ "Real friends don't let friends play Xbox." A proud owner of a PS2 |
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Pumbo Pez-Eater
Joined: 23 May 2002 Posts: 176 Location: You don't want to know...
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Posted: Sat Jun 01, 2002 12:29 am�� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 3 |
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"The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u." _________________ "Real friends don't let friends play Xbox." A proud owner of a PS2 |
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Pumbo Pez-Eater
Joined: 23 May 2002 Posts: 176 Location: You don't want to know...
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Posted: Sat Jun 01, 2002 11:01 pm�� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 4 |
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"When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide" _________________ "Real friends don't let friends play Xbox." A proud owner of a PS2 |
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Pumbo Pez-Eater
Joined: 23 May 2002 Posts: 176 Location: You don't want to know...
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Posted: Mon Jun 03, 2002 3:11 pm�� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 5 |
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"For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead." _________________ "Real friends don't let friends play Xbox." A proud owner of a PS2 |
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Pumbo Pez-Eater
Joined: 23 May 2002 Posts: 176 Location: You don't want to know...
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Posted: Mon Jun 03, 2002 9:40 pm�� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 6 |
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"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops." _________________ "Real friends don't let friends play Xbox." A proud owner of a PS2 |
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Pumbo Pez-Eater
Joined: 23 May 2002 Posts: 176 Location: You don't want to know...
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Posted: Tue Jun 04, 2002 3:39 pm�� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 7 |
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"For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it." _________________ "Real friends don't let friends play Xbox." A proud owner of a PS2 |
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Pumbo Pez-Eater
Joined: 23 May 2002 Posts: 176 Location: You don't want to know...
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Posted: Thu Jun 06, 2002 6:34 pm�� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 8 |
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"Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky." _________________ "Real friends don't let friends play Xbox." A proud owner of a PS2 |
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Pumbo Pez-Eater
Joined: 23 May 2002 Posts: 176 Location: You don't want to know...
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Posted: Sun Jun 09, 2002 8:27 pm�� �Post subject: Test and Essays 9 |
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"Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull." _________________ "Real friends don't let friends play Xbox." A proud owner of a PS2 |
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Pumbo Pez-Eater
Joined: 23 May 2002 Posts: 176 Location: You don't want to know...
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Posted: Sun Jun 09, 2002 8:44 pm�� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 10 |
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"Germinate: To become a naturalized German." _________________ "Real friends don't let friends play Xbox." A proud owner of a PS2 |
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Pumbo Pez-Eater
Joined: 23 May 2002 Posts: 176 Location: You don't want to know...
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Posted: Sun Jun 09, 2002 8:45 pm�� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 11 |
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"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is." _________________ "Real friends don't let friends play Xbox." A proud owner of a PS2 |
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Pumbo Pez-Eater
Joined: 23 May 2002 Posts: 176 Location: You don't want to know...
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Posted: Sun Jun 09, 2002 8:46 pm�� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 12 |
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"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars." _________________ "Real friends don't let friends play Xbox." A proud owner of a PS2 |
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Pumbo Pez-Eater
Joined: 23 May 2002 Posts: 176 Location: You don't want to know...
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Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2002 2:49 pm�� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 13 |
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"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to." _________________ "Real friends don't let friends play Xbox." A proud owner of a PS2 |
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