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Pumbo's Daily Funnies
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Pez-Man
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Joined: 18 May 2002
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PostPosted: Thu May 30, 2002 10:27 pm� �Post subject: Pumbo's Daily Funnies Reply with quote

Post the funnies, once a day. Only Pumbo post here.
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Pez-Eater
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PostPosted: Thu May 30, 2002 10:36 pm� �Post subject: Ahem. Reply with quote

Ahem. Well, yeah. This is going to be my little place for funny stuff, of which I have litterally hundreds. At a rate of once a day, this should last for....a very long time. But anyway, lets get started. The first group of funnies are true Test Papers and Essays.
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PostPosted: Thu May 30, 2002 10:37 pm� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 1 Reply with quote

These are from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school, and college students around the world. It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades.

"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

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PostPosted: Fri May 31, 2002 2:29 pm� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 2 Reply with quote

"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2002 12:29 am� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 3 Reply with quote

"The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2002 11:01 pm� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 4 Reply with quote

"When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 03, 2002 3:11 pm� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 5 Reply with quote

"For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead."
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 03, 2002 9:40 pm� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 6 Reply with quote

"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops."
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 04, 2002 3:39 pm� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 7 Reply with quote

"For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it."
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2002 6:34 pm� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 8 Reply with quote

"Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2002 8:27 pm� �Post subject: Test and Essays 9 Reply with quote

"Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2002 8:44 pm� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 10 Reply with quote

"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2002 8:45 pm� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 11 Reply with quote

"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2002 8:46 pm� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 12 Reply with quote

"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2002 2:49 pm� �Post subject: Tests and Essays 13 Reply with quote

"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."
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