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Raziel's DAILY! Funnies.

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Raziel
What's a Pez?
What's a Pez?


Joined: 27 Jun 2002
Posts: 36
Location: Writing my book

PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2002 11:53 am� �Post subject: Raziel's DAILY! Funnies. Reply with quote

For my first one...lets see...


Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to
attend her funeral.

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I am the Alhpa and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.

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-Xenogears
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Raziel
What's a Pez?
What's a Pez?


Joined: 27 Jun 2002
Posts: 36
Location: Writing my book

PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2002 5:01 pm� �Post subject: Reply with quote

This is an actual exuse note given to a school. As will be the next few.
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I am the Alhpa and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.

God
-Xenogears
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Raziel
What's a Pez?
What's a Pez?


Joined: 27 Jun 2002
Posts: 36
Location: Writing my book

PostPosted: Sun Jun 30, 2002 9:16 pm� �Post subject: Reply with quote

I like this one....

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had
her shot.

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I am the Alhpa and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.

God
-Xenogears
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Pez-Man
Pez-Man


Joined: 18 May 2002
Posts: 3443

PostPosted: Sun Jun 30, 2002 10:19 pm� �Post subject: Reply with quote

Pumbo is back, so there is no need for this one anymore. I'll just lock it and leave it here so you can look at the whole two jokes.
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Pez-Man
Pez-Man


Joined: 18 May 2002
Posts: 3443

PostPosted: Mon Feb 03, 2003 9:44 pm� �Post subject: Reply with quote

It's too bad that Pumbo stopped doing the funnies... So Raziel will start back up! Hopefully he won't be like Pumbo.
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Jo-chan
Pez-Priest
Pez-Priest


Joined: 30 Aug 2002
Posts: 699
Location: Mt. Plushmore

PostPosted: Mon Feb 03, 2003 10:11 pm� �Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, whatever happened to Pumbo?
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"Which class did you ass?" -- Chromus
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"Err, add........damn you." -- Chromus
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Pez-Man
Pez-Man


Joined: 18 May 2002
Posts: 3443

PostPosted: Mon Feb 03, 2003 11:02 pm� �Post subject: Reply with quote

He's alive. Still in the comic. He just didn't feel like doing the forum anymore. A fate that has unfourtunatley befallen many of our kind...
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Jo-chan
Pez-Priest
Pez-Priest


Joined: 30 Aug 2002
Posts: 699
Location: Mt. Plushmore

PostPosted: Tue Feb 04, 2003 12:54 am� �Post subject: Reply with quote

*nods sagely* Ah, so I see. Hopefully that will never be any of us regulars in the future.
_________________
"Which class did you ass?" -- Chromus
"What does it mean to ass a class?" -- Pez-Man
"Err, add........damn you." -- Chromus
"DRILLMAN bionic nemisis of MegaMan" -- ebay quote
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Zornak
Clearly Insane.
Clearly Insane.


Joined: 19 May 2002
Posts: 1116
Location: Searching for Molvaki

PostPosted: Tue Feb 04, 2003 1:21 am� �Post subject: Reply with quote

you sure Raz is back?
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Raziel
What's a Pez?
What's a Pez?


Joined: 27 Jun 2002
Posts: 36
Location: Writing my book

PostPosted: Wed Feb 05, 2003 5:50 pm� �Post subject: Back again... or something Reply with quote

Yes yes yes, I am here. And I'll try to be more consistant than ol Pumbo was... sooo, heres the first one!




Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day.
Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter
had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full
today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had
particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

The first man replies, "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife
has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to
catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I
could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around
didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding.
Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was
this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now
I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him,
but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went
back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on
his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he
let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the
bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran
into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge
where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress
and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on
the balcony."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let
the man in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven
being full, and again asks for his story.

"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor
of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out
on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or
something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and
caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I
couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out
onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started
beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he
ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding
on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and
fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I
was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes
falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm
here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty
horrible death.

The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole
process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and
asked for his story.

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a
refrigerator..."

_________________
I am the Alhpa and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.

God
-Xenogears
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